Chapter 1

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we give account.” 

August 20, 2000 DIARY

Tonight I said goodbye to my family for a whole year…maybe more. I’m off to 

Kuwait. They really don’t want me to go. They’ve been watching CNN and have visions of terrorism in the Middle East; Palestine and Israel at war; men getting their hands chopped off for stealing; women being stoned to death for infidelity; Saddam Hussein invading Kuwait.

It’s funny how, even though I know they’re worried, I’m not…I feel good about it actually, almost like I’m meant to go. I’ve tried to reassure them. I’ve contacted teachers already there, single women who have been teaching in Kuwait for over a year; and they tell me that CNN is way off center…

All I know is that I’m tired of teaching in Ontario and all the turmoil that goes with it; the strikes, the antagonism, the discontent… it’s time for a change, time for a new experience, a new adventure…maybe, just maybe I can make a difference somewhere in this world.

Am I running away? Maybe that too… all I know is this feels right…crazy maybe, but right…

Had to look on the map, though, to see where I’m going! Somewhere in the Middle East.

I feel empty leaving everyone, but I know in my heart this is where I’m to go… As my Dad always says: “Out of chicken shit grow roses…”

August 22 DIARY

I’m so damn lonely…can’t believe I’m doing this again…overseas … am I a fool? I know I’ll get over it eventually; but right now it’s so hard, without family, friends…I don’t have a computer or a phone or a car ---yet. This will pass, I know, I know, just like Mexico. But living in the present, here, now, is so damn lonely.

My little apartment is cute and cozy, decorated in Indian style and a big glass window overlooks the Persian Gulf, blue, blue, blue water! It’s been too hot to walk down to it --- about 120 degrees F. At least I’m cool in my apartment with the air conditioning… I don’t even know my address---all I know is the name of my neighborhood, Mahboula, which means “crazy women”.

Well, this is what I asked for: a totally different culture.

I sat next to a young Muslim woman on the airplane. In disbelief I listened to her talk about her life, one of total control by her father. She’d just finished three years of studying engineering in a university in Canada and was now going home to an arranged marriage, to a man she’d never met. A man her father had chosen. And she’s ok with that!

She said, “I don’t need to worry about anything. Now my husband will look after me.”

I can’t believe she’s giving up her career! One of the reasons I’m here in Kuwait is because of my career…and, of course, to travel, to be wild and free, to be single again! All of my adult life I’ve spent devoted to my kids as a single parent; “now it’s your time, Ma” they said.

So, here I am… free, but stuck in an apartment.