CAMBRIDGE BAY NEWSLETTER # 1

"THE SEARCH FOR..."

NOVEMBER 2012

Whether it is the search for the Northwest Passage, or the search for truth; whether it is the search for a life partner, or the search for a purpose in life, there arrives that moment of awareness when we come face to face with the man or woman in the mirror and we ask these questions:

Who am I?

What am I doing with my life?

Where am I headed? When will I get there?

Why am I here?

I turned 60 this year; sixty, a huge milestone in any person’s life, a time for major reflection.

Reflection # 1: Who am I?

Both my parents passed away from cancer. A sad and daunting fact I face every day of my life. I think of their happy faces, the lives they led, their legacy, and wonder what their search was. I asked my Mom, before she died, what was the most important value a person could possess. Without hesitation, from her deathbed, she said, “The way we treat others.” When I look back at my Mother’s life, I truly see the way she treated others was her mission. Her search was to find ways to help others on their journey in life. From her open door policy to her unmatched willingness to listen to others; from her AA commitment to her personalized cards, my Mother’s search was altruistic and humanistic in her nature --- and in her deeds.

Her face to me is the face of an angel and will be etched in my memory for eternity.

Last week, the CBC did a tribute to Raylene Rankin, a famous singer from the east coast. She also recently died of cancer. One of her songs was played during the program, and as I listened, I thought of my Father and my Mother:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q9AyY1h8tE

“We rise again in the faces of our children,” she sang..... “We look to our sons and daughters to explain our lives...”

Cancer can take our loved ones away like a thief in the night...but it cannot take away their legacies. Who am I? I am my Mother and Father’s daughter; I am the Mother of my children and the grandmother of their children. I am a child of God. We each have a legacy, a spiralling circle of the many faces of our ancestors past and present and on into eternity through God’s immeasurable love for us and our unconditional love for each other.

Reflection #2: What am I doing with my life? At what point in our lives do we stop seeing the world through innocent eyes and seek the complications of fame and fortune, of wealth and status? When exactly do we start losing the values taught in kindergarten?

Values like: “Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.”

These words are some of the literary gems found in Robert Fulghum’s poem called, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten . http://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/842/36.html

How simple! How true! I reflect on the lives of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe...and the lives of Gandhi and Terry Fox. What did they do with their lives? How did they touch the lives of others? What was the final act on the stage of their lives? I recently watched the biography of Howard Hughes, “The Aviator”, and pondered this question. As a teenager, Howard Robard Hughes declared that his goals in life were to become the world's best golfer, the world's best pilot and the world's best movie producer. He, in fact, accomplished much of what he set out to do, becoming “a brave experimental pilot (he broke many modern aviation records of the time), an ingenious inventor, a shrewd and cunning businessman, a Hollywood film producer and director, the owner of several airlines, and the creator of several distinct airplanes.” http://www.craigerscinemacorner.com/Reviews/aviator.htm

However, he also descended into a sad reclusive existence. Locked in darkened rooms and terrified of germs, he became a nomad, moving from hotel to hotel, addicted to codeine and other painkillers, was extremely frail, wore tissue boxes as shoes, and stored his urine in jars. “As time passed and he became even more of a crazy neurotic, he died alone in 1976 and left an estate worth over a billion dollars. All in all, Hughes was a sad man with moments of genius and glory.” http://www.craigerscinemacorner.com/Reviews/aviator.html

What happened to this man whose dreams were huge and fulfilled, but whose soul was tormented and finally destroyed?

This is a question that Susan Whitbourne, Ph.D., asks in her book The Search for Fulfillment. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201002/famous-people-bad-decisions-when-celebrities-falter She asks: “Why do people who have everything going for them commit such huge blunders, ruining not only their public images but also their family lives, career, and ultimately, the way in which history remembers them?” Ah, yes, the search for fulfillment. How can we stay on the right path that leads to fulfillment at any age? How can we avoid that “downward slope” that she says leads to tragedy; how can we avoid what Shakespeare describes as “a sound and fury that signifies nothing”? Robert Fulghum, the author of the kindergarten poem, believes he has an answer. He writes that everything we need to know is in “the sand pile at Sunday School”: “The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation... Ecology and politics and equality and sane living... Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.” http://www.kalimunro.com/learned_in_kindergarten.html

Is the search for “what am I doing with my life?” really that simple; is the search for fulfillment really that straightforward? Fame and fortune, genius and glory, sound and fury; or the Golden Rule and love and sane living. Whew....what a choice... Of course it’s not that simple. We all live in shades of grey. Take Michael Jackson for example. Another man who “had it all”, he too ended up with a tragic final act to his life. His choices led him, not to a concluding moment in time surrounded by loved ones, but a body riddled with drugs and insanity... despite the words to his song “The Man in the Mirror” that say:

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

Did he “change his ways”? I’m reminded of another who has “everything going for him”. Think of Bill Gates. He may be a rare exception to that rule of a “downward slope”. Just recently The Octopus, a ship he owns with his partner, Paul Allen, arrived up here in Cambridge Bay. They were taking people on a trip from the east coast of Canada to the west coast, following in the footsteps of Franklin in his search for the Northwest Passage. Although his own personal search has earned him millions of dollars, he is not one to keep it to himself. As Erichammer wrote of Bill: “He is also an incredibly smart guy who built a business from nothing into one of the largest companies in the world and who today spends his billions of dollars to try to do some good in the world.” http:/www.quantumseolabs.com/blog/rambling/7-lessons-bill-gates-teach/

When asked what one of his goals in life was, he said, “Know where you can do the most good.” What did he do? “He decided to follow his passion and go where he could do the most good… He had a vision …that money is no good unless you spread it around quite a little bit…Today, Gates is no longer known for being a shrewd business man. Instead, Gates is today known for being one of the world’s greatest philanthropists with a special interest in education. He has decided that he can do the most good in this new role of his and indeed, he has helped to transform education in many ways.”

The article on Bill Gates ends with these words: “Bill Gates is one remarkable man. He is one of the wealthiest men alive and today he spends his time giving money away. However, he also has an awful lot to teach every one of us about how to be successful in life. He’s a great role model to follow even if you’re not a particularly big fan of Windows and Microsoft Office and as such, it’s worthwhile to pay attention when this man speaks and offers up his pearls of wisdom.” http://www.quantumseolabs.com/blog/rambling/7-lessons-bill-gates-teach/

I’m listening Bill Gates!

So, the question remains...“What am I doing with my life?” I, again, am reminded of my dear Mother. She wasn’t perfect, but she was precious, and so was her mission. Others, like Bill Gates, inspire me, but my Mother inspires me the most. My mission? To follow in her footsteps, treat others the way I want to be treated, the Golden Rule, and “pay it forward”. Not always easy, but actually possible.